All posts by Jerry The Geek

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The Metaphysics of Collision Repair Salt Lake City

Consider the collision repair Salt Lake City of an unstoppable force with an immovable object. Put aside for the moment that there can be no such thing as an immovable object or an unstoppable force. Obviously, the existence of the one makes the existence of the other impossible. For if an object is immovable then no force can dislodge it. In the same respect, if a force is unstoppable then no object can stand in its way. For these reasons only one of these can exist and probably neither can exist in the known reality of the existence in which we find ourselves.

THE IMPACT OF A MASSIVE COLLISION REPAIR SALT LAKE CITY

Proceeding with the understanding that neither an unstoppable force or an immovable object are likely to exist in our common experience, we may suspend our disbelief and enter the realm of the thought experiment. Let us say that this cataclysmic event actually did transpire. The question then arises, is there a collision repair shop (both in Salt Lake City or elsewhere) that can repair the damage in its aftermath? This is no small question to answer and is probably not a question that can be sufficiently answered within the scope of a three paragraph blog post.

Let it also be known that Jerry The Geek is neither an unstoppable force nor an immovable object. I am just a simple blog writer. Writing blogs is what I do. I do not generally stop forces or move objects (except those that I must move to make my way in the world such as picking up a coffee cup etc.). Be that as it may, because we are still within the realm of the thought experiment we may think of me as  an immovable object as my picture clearly depicts.

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Feel the Heat Trace Auto Geeks!

I Jerry have climbed to the top of the Washington Monument in order to make my most awesome proclamation which is for all auto geeks to feel the heat trace today! You know very well what I mean so do not even pretend that you do not. In fact, you have been pretending not to know this very fact for some time now and that is precisely why you find yourself in the predicament that you do. But you must cast your fears aside in this matter and do what I tell you to do. It is the only thing that will set you free. Believe me.

FEEL THE FREEDOM THAT IS THE HEAT TRACE

You shall never know what your life could have been without following my instructions. There is something insulating about saying no and sticking one’s proverbial head in the proverbial sand. In that place you can cultivate a comfort zone. But somewhere deep in your heart where the truth is kept under lock and key you will know. And a creeping sense of dissatisfaction will begin to pervade your life in subtle ways. At first you will find yourself becoming irritated with small things. New you will observe yourself acting out passive aggressively.

You will find that the people in your life will begin to draw away from you. You will sense an absence of love but you will blame them for it. Never consciously realizing that all the while the fault lay with you. All because you choose not to follow my advice and do what I have instructed you to do. There is always a time for forgiveness until the time runs out. So I would advise you not to wait too long. There is the temptation to put things off until the next life but there are no guarantees there.

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Signs and Banners of Spring

It is February now but already in North Carolina I am seeing signs and banners of the coming spring. The trees are starting to bud. There are flowers poking through the soil. The birds are making an appearance. Although they never really disappeared in this area. The air has a certain sense of spring about it as well. This is a quality that is difficult to describe. But if I had to describe it in words I would say that there is a certain fragrant softness to it. There is also a pleasant and moist sort of quality to the air as well.

SIGNS AND BANNERS OF THINGS TO COME

I grew up in Connecticut and am still adapting to this warmer, southern climate. I am used to a cold and long winter where it starts to get cold in October and stays cold until the end of March. In the south, one day can be thirty degrees but the next day can be seventy degrees. I find it a little unsettling. There is something refreshing about a long and cold winter and making it out the other side in the spring. It is a feeling of rebirth in a sense.

I suppose eventually I will become accustomed to my new, adopted climate. Then again maybe I will not. I have been living here for four years and it still feels a little strange to me. The summers are brutally hot. In a sense, the summers in the south are like the winters in the north. It starts to get hot in May and it stays hot all the way until September. Yes, that is it. Winter is the dominant season of the North the way Summer is the dominant season of the South. I wonder if it will ever feel normal to me.

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Repair Your Auto Body Salt Lake City

Once again the readers of the D. C. Auto Geek Blog have been clammoring for an article about auto body Salt Lake City. I suppose all the other articles we have written on the subject were not sufficient to satiate this unmet need. I further suppose that the readers require all these articles because they need information about repairing auto bodies in the city of Salt Lake City. It remains a mystery to me why the readers of a blog about automobiles in the city of Washington, D. C. need to read about auto body repair shops in Salt Lake City.

READING ABOUT AUTO BODY SALT LAKE CITY

It cannot be denied, however, that these requests keep rolling in. If you doubt me, I invite you to come to the D. C. Auto Geek Blog world headquarters building. When you walk through the front door tell the receptionist that you wish to speak to Jerry. If I am available I will gladly walk you down to our mail room archieves where we store these letters in redwells and bankers boxes. There you will see letter after letter wherein readers describe their need to know more information on this very subject.

So that is the purpose of this article. I respect our loyal readers and endevor to the best of my ability to attend to their needs. And that is really what the D. C. Auto Geek Blog is all about and has been about since its very inception. Hopefully this will be the final article on the subject and we can get back to the very important business of writing about automobiles and the great city of Washington, D. C. which is of course our nation’s capital. Although Salt Lake City is the capital of the state of Utah it is not our nation’s capital. That point must be distinctly understood or nothing wonderful can come from this tale.

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Collision Repair Salt Lake City In 2017

As the readers of the D. C. Auto Geek Blog know, this is the time of year when we release our annual predictions related to collision repair Salt Lake City in the coming year. Before we begin let us address the fair question as to why a blog concerning itself with auto related issues in the city of Washington, D. C. would release a yearly forecast regarding collision repair in Salt Lake City, Utah. Again, the editorial board of the D. C. Auto Geek Blog agrees that this would absolutely be a fair question to ask. That said, we ask that the reader of the D. C. Auto Geek blog take it as a matter of faith that there is a perfectly good reason for this.

The D. C. Auto Geek 2017 Collision Repair Salt Lake City Forecast

The D. C. Auto Geek Blog has several exciting predictions regarding the Salt Lake City collision repair industry. Our first prediction will have a significant impact upon not only the collision repair industry located in the region of Salt Lake City but will also have a significant impact upon the collision repair industry nation wide. For this reason, the D. C. Auto Geek Blog editorial board highly recommends that the readers of this blog pay particular attention to the prediction we are about to articulate.

When articulating a forecast as to the state of affairs regarding the collision repair industry in Salt Lake City it is important that this information be conveyed in a clear and concise manner. This is indeed the case because if a thorough understanding of the forecast is something that the conveyer of said forecast is interested in achieving it is of vital importance that the forecast is conveyed clearly and concisely. As such, a clear and concise conveyance of the forecast is by all means what we wish to achieve.

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Over the River and Through the Woods to the Auto Body Repair Salt Lake City

There is an old song made famous in the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving cartoon entitled “Over the River and Through the Woods.” The song progresses to reveal the destination of this trek which as it turns out is “Grandmother’s House.” My fellow D. C. Auto Geeks probably all have fond childhood memories traveling to a relative’s house to celebrate some holiday be it Christmas, Thanksgiving or some other holiday. In the Charlie Brown cartoon, we see the kids climbing into the back of a very spacious station wagon. For some reason we never see the adults. Even their voices are obscured. Perhaps this demonstrates the separate world that children live in.

Auto Body Repair Salt Lake City Never to be Seen

It is never revealed where the characters in the Charlie Brown universe live. Presumably they live in the United States and since we see snow in the Christmas cartoon we can assume they live somewhere in the North. The Midwest would be my best guess. We can probably rule out them living in the Salt Lake City area given the topography we see. So there is no chance that if the station wagon were to crash on the way to grandmother’s house that it would eventually find itself in an auto body repair Salt Lake City.

Be that as it may, there is no indication that a car accident even occurs in the first place. The cartoon ends with them en route. There is also a scene at the end where Charlie Brown’s dog Snoopy and his bird friend Woodstock enjoy a traditional Thanksgiving meal of turkey and pumpkin pie. I often wonder if this could be considered a form of cannibalism. That is, Woodstock who is a bird himself is seen eating a turkey which is also a bird. True, they are different species of birds so perhaps it is not something to actually worry myself about.

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Signs and Banners of the Season

When I drive my auto around the District of Columbia during the holiday season I keep a special eye out for any uniquely festive signs and banners I might happen upon. The holiday season is a wondrous time of the year when abundance rejoices. This abundance is reflected in the spirit of giving, in the food we eat and the people with whom we gather together. It is reflected in the lights and other decorations that sprout up all over our nation’s capitol. But most of all it is reflected in the various signs that hang about our fair city extolling the blessings of the seasons.

Signs and Banners Extoll Merry Christmas

Now it does not take a D. C. Auto Geek or even a reader of the D. C. Auto Geek Blog to know that there are certain sensibilities one must be aware of when choosing to display a sign that reads “Merry Christmas.” We live in politically correct times and there is a certain segment of the population that becomes uncomfortable and dare I say offended upon the sight of such a sign. I suppose the thinking is that the non Christian peoples who do not celebrate Christmas might be somehow put upon or otherwise marginalized by such a display.

Part of me can understand this sentiment. It comes from a place of politeness. That is the intention is not to offend, insult or otherwise step on the toes of another. On the other hand, I cannot help but be a bit annoyed by the P. C. culture. Who are these people who feel so entitled to be offended at every little gesture? Who are these people who feel so entitled to be offended on another person’s behalf? If it were up to me, I would take the P. C. out of D. C. if you know what I mean.

Merry Christmas from all of us at D. C. Auto Geek!

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How to Get Around the Doppler Effect

If you live in the Washington D. C. metro area and love autos like I do then I assume you also employ signs and banners to get your message across. The reason I assume this to be the case is that Washington D. C. is a town where everyone is trying to get their message across. Moreover, if you are driving past a another person to whom you are trying to communicate you probably need a sign to communicate effectively because your voice will not be an efficient means of communication. This is the unfortunate situation because of a little thing called the Doppler Effect.

The Doppler Effect is defined as “an increase (or decrease) in the frequency of sound, light, or other waves as the source and observer move toward (or away from) each other. For example, the effect causes the sudden change in pitch noticeable in a passing siren, as well as the redshift seen by astronomers.” Because of the Doppler Effect, the sound of your voice will sound distorted to the person to whom you are attempting to communicate as your car passes by them. This distortion might be enough to make the substance of your communication incomprehensible to the intended object of your communication. For this reason it would probably be more effective to communicate with this person through the use of signs and banners.

By using a sign to communicate your message to the person you pass in your vehicle you will be more likely to effectively communicate your message. I think the Washington D. C. metro area would definitely be a better place if we were all more effectively communicating our unique messages. I hardily believe this to be true because it can be frustrating to try to communicate and fail in the endeavor. Happy Holidays from all of us at the D.C. Auto Geek Blog!

 

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Questions That Go Without Saying

It goes without saying that when two cars collide, one or both of them will be taken to a collision repair Salt Lake City. Although this causal relationship does in fact go without saying, it goes without saying that it has been said in the first paragraph of this blog post. The obvious question then arises, if it is in fact true that this statement goes without saying, why then was it said in the first place? Although this question is indeed obvious it does in fact go without saying that it was none the less asked despite the fact that it was obvious.

Accordingly we now find ourselves in the problematic position wherein an obvious question that goes without saying has been asked and therefore said. Moreover (returning to the actual substance of the question), two cars that have found themselves in a state of collision and then subsequently taken to a collision repair Salt Lake City the next obvious question is then very likely to be asked. That question of course also goes without saying. But if the question was to be said it would sound very much like the following question that I will type in the sentence following this one. That question is, what specifically are the repairs that need to be made to the two vehicles in order to return them to the pristine state in which they existed prior to the accident which brought them to the collision repair shop in the first place?

We live in a universe of many questions many of which go without saying. The reader of this article (if he or she or it) has made it this far will quite likely know that the questions related to the subject of this post that were described as going without saying have been very much said.

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The D. C. / Salt Lake City Nexus

It is perfectly reasonable for a reader of this blog to ask the question why an article regarding collision repair Salt Lake City is found in a blog entitled D. C. Auto Geek. This is a reasonable question because the District of Columbia (our nation’s capital) is very far away from Salt Lake City. In fact, the distance between the two cities is 2,083 miles according to Google Maps. Moreover it would take a driver approximately thirty one hours to drive the distance assuming he or she remained in compliance with all applicable traffic laws and ordinances. Incidentally (and conveniently), the aforementioned, law abiding driver would use US Route 81 for almost the entire trip.

I (as author of this blog post) will be perfectly honest with you (the reader). The only possible reason why an article pertaining to collision repair Salt Lake City could be found in a blog entitled D. C Auto Geek is that the blog is not intended to be read by an actual person. For you see, gentle reader,  the sole purpose for this blog post to exist are the links embedded within the content. This post serves its purpose so long as it is (1) between three hundred and five hundred words, (2) includes a picture, (3) contains the specific key words (try to guess which words in this post are the keywords!) and (4) contains two links to the website whose content it is my intention to optimize.

But you might then ask me (the author) why I am telling you (the reader) all this information. That would be a good question had you actually asked it. However paradoxically, since you do not exist (at least not in human form) there is no “you” to ask the question. Furthermore, since you do not exist there is no way that you could have read this post thus keeping my search engine optimization strategy a secret. Good day to you.